I GO WITH THE WIND AT MY HEELS AND ANGELS BY MY SIDE: THE ROAD TO CHANDIGARH

Navneet plans my days…and full days they are. That particular day she had planned a road trip to the city of Chandigarh. I really didn't know what was in store but eagerly anticipated the experience, whatever it was.

Remember the “nightmare in the making” drive from the airport I said I’d talk about in a later writing? Well, this trip was about to give it a new and even more exciting dimension

In India if it honks, bellows, snorts, neighs, moos, heehaws, oinks, barks, trumpets or speaks (in any tongue) it can be found on the road. Four legged transportation independent of a driver absolutely owns the road. There is one rule on Indian roads and that is THERE ARE NO RULES! Praise heaven for economy size cars.

Why? Because a two lane becomes a four lane, a four lane becomes an eight, and so on. However, there are the trucks…lots and lots of them; outside of the elephant, transport trucks are boss.

Imagine, if you can, one truck passing another truck on a two lane road with a motor cycle on the shoulder carrying a husband, wife and two children, an oxen driven cart piled high with hay taking up his lane and the rest of the shoulder on the opposite side, and several cars coming from the opposite direction passing one another and gaining fast. What happens then?

The passing truck honks at the truck he’s about to overtake, at the motor scooter --whose driver yields as best he can without running into a tree or toppling over the embankment--and at the driver of the oxen-driven cart who’s trying to get out of the way of an oncoming car that’s just passed the truck in front of it. A car behind the truck that wants to pass the passing truck honks at both trucks and whatever else is in his path and attempts to get around the passing truck. In the meantime, the driver of the motor scooter we just left behind is honking at the motor scooter in front of him so that he can pass but another approaching truck honks at both scooters and the overtaken truck. Who knows…by now the oxen-driven cart could be laying on its side in a ditch. The oncoming car that is just barely squeezing into the lane before hitting the passing truck coming from the opposite direction that is being overtaken by the car are all honking at each other and….. IF YOU DIDN’T GET ALL THAT, YOU’VE JUST EXPERIENCED DRIVING IN INDIA. Mind you, through it all, yours truly is completely relaxed and splitting her sides with laughter in the back seat. Baljit, who is honking and overtaking the car in front of him, is making sure he adds more humor. “LOOK! There are five people on a motorcycle.”

The women, by the way, do not straddle the passenger seat of the motorcycle or scooter…oh, no; they have no choice because they’re wonderfully attired in their ladies’ colorful suits with long scarves that blow free in the wind, so their only option is to sit side saddle. Now, if a truck being passed gets too close to a scooter and the driver hits a bump, this fair maiden might be catapulted onto the back of one of the bulls in the passing truck.

After complimenting me on the fact that I was so “relaxed” about it all, Navneet, added even more humor to my side-splitting experience: “Unlike you, most of our American friends are so terrified the first time they ride on our roads that they never want to come back.”

I could just visualize the scene as the tears of laughter rolled down my cheeks and I caught a glimpse of the car barely squeezing in before taking a piece of our fender…or so it appeared.

I asked Baljit how many different modes of transportation occupied Indian roads. He started the count and with Navneet’s help, came up with a total of twenty to include the elephant.

“LOOK! The man has pieces of rebar strapped on his bicycle.”

My reply: “Maybe he’s planning to instant skewer one of the pigs along the side of the road for the evening barbecue.”

“No. He doesn’t eat pig. He’ll use it to build his house.”

Says Navneet: “It’s really boring driving in America. All you do is put your hands on the wheel and go.”

Sounds like a pretty good concept to me.

Says Baljit: “You never use the horn, either. Car is not car without using horn. In India, all you need is wheel and horn….no brakes.”

Of course you have no brakes…they’re worn out!

Necessity is the mother of invention, and with 1.7 billion people to provide for, you use whatever mode of transportation is available; that includes carts, rickshaws, donkeys, camels, elephants

and the human head.

Regardless of their size or shape, weight permitting, goods are often carried on a bicycle or motorcycle. I saw 6 to 8 stacked plastic lawn chairs tied to the back of a motorcycle appearing as a tall seat on wheels moving down a four lane highway. Had, Baljit, been present he would have said, “LOOK, a chair without a driver,” and added another number to his list.

The most incredible part of all that I have just described is that it works and no one ever seems to get ruffled; in the end, isn’t that all that matters? What's more I can not ignore the fact that I thoroughly enjoyed the emotional release all that laughter brought.

“I guess I should be frightened, but I’m smiling,” I finally said to my master of comedy. “

“That’s good,” Baljit, replied, dryly. “Better to die with a smile on your face.”

Although Chandigarh is worth the visit alone--owing to the fact that it is the best-planned city in India and said to be the cleanest--- that was not the purpose of our visit. When, Baljit, informed me at the entrance that we were going to see a rock garden, I assumed the obvious. Inside the gate, however, I could not believe the wonder that was unfolding before my eyes, nor the story surrounding the rock garden’s creator.

An Indian government official by the name of, Nek Chand, a self-taught artist and a man of great vision, secretly created an illegal garden on a land conservancy that was not supposed to be built on.

In his spare time, he began collecting materials from demolition sites around the city. From bottles, glasses, bangles, tiles, ceramic pots, sinks, rags and broken ceramics he created ceramic covered concrete sculptures of dancers, musicians and animals. He kept his creation secret for eighteen years--that alone is mind boggling owing to the fact that he had utilized 12 acres of the forbidden ground for his work. One day he was found out and his dream was nearly lost to the die hard bureaucrats. Favorable public opinion won out, however, and this wonder of wonders was officially inaugurated in 1976. The park is a series of intricate paths of man made waterfalls, trees and sculptures. You have to see it to believe it, but Ill try and take you on a journey Cannon style.